Okay. I can do this.
The first 3 days were like someone else (an even crazier person that I had become) had occupied my mind and was controlling my thoughts. It was one of the craziest, most emotional, roller coasters that my heart, mind, and body had ever gone through.
You pray the fiercest prayers, you let go and fully trust God, and then your emotions take over and you cry in to the pillow, “Why me? “Why are you doing this to ME? If I did something to deserve this, please don’t punish my husband! He would be an amazing father!” You’re so incredibly angry that YOU have to go through this, and other women around the world get pregnant every day. (Oh, the tricks your mind plays on you.) You take it all back and put your faith back in Him, and you try to reason with Him, “I will be a wonderful mother, I promise. I will take such good care of YOUR child!!”
A friend told me to find a bible verse and repeat it over and over, whenever you’re feeling hopeless. I did! It helps. And that’s only the first hour. We still have 13 days + 23 hours to go.
Philippians 4:6 – Don’t worry about anything;instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.
The waiting feels like a lifetime. Then, after two weeks, I wait for a phone call. A simple phone call. The phone rings, my heart stops and I have to catch my breath! I am frozen, and I immediately start to cry. The nurse on the other line asks “How are you feeling?” I can’t answer. She says softly, “You’re pregnant! You did it. You can breathe now.”